Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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