We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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