every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize