Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
