brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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