I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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