Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
