Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we made out on top of his cat.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
