How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Non-Jews are for practice
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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