Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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