she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
