I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
