what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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