Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
