On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
