please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
