you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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