last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
