I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize