yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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