Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
