well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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