bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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