roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
