Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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