you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
In America we eat man semen.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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