Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
