I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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