well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
