Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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