Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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