Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
