To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
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It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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