By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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