There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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