you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
