thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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