now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
