yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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