the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.