This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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