false alarm. still invincible.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
