This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
