I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
