My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
