Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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