When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
