Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
