I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
