My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
