turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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