So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
