Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
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It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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