i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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