first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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