She said her name was "party"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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