Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
