She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
