Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
