Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
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Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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