there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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