sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
