As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
