I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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