Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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